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Now On to the Nitty Gritty
In July 1999, I started seeing a dietician to help me with weight loss.
I saw her a total of 5 times.
During these sessions I was taught the “love your body” approach;
this is where you accept your body no matter the size.
Also, I was to try to load up on all the things I overeat
and give myself permission to eat as much of them as I wanted
and whenever I wanted them.In the following months and years
I have joined Weight Watchers multiple times
with good results for the first few months
and then I would put the weight back on.
My last time of joining Weight Watchers was 6/2002.I have seen 3 hypnotherapists for Weight Loss.
The first one was in May 2001.
I did not finish my program with him,
as I was not comfortable with the setting.
The second person I went to see was very interested in woman’s health.
We focused a lot of the hyponosis on my accepting my body as it is –
although this is good in concept it is not something
an overweight person can easily believe.
The next person worked on my weight loss for
2 – four hour-long sessions.
Then in the 3RD session wanted me to start to work
on my chakra’s
to help me find my spiritual spot in order
to help me lose the weight.
As I am an extremely conservative person
I do not think there is a chakra anywhere near my body or me.I tried the Atkin’s diet in 2001.
I became extremely ill on this diet with nausea and vomiting.
I was also taking vitamins and other nutrients during this time.
I also tried the Mayo Clinic diet
but was not able to tolerate all the acid from the tomatoes.
(this diet consisted of a soup which was mostly vegetables
with a tomato base)
I have also tried the prescription drug Redux.
Oh Lordie what a huge mistake that was
I couldn’t think I couldn’t even function
and now all those awful side effects that are being discovered.
Yikes; I am still not out of the woods with that one tests and more testsI joined Overeater’s Anonymous and really enjoyed the meetings.
I like the fact that they base their belief’s around God.
I will continue to attend these meetings.
My weight is a huge concern with me and creates a vicious circle.
I want to lose weight so I try a diet and
then get frustrated with myself and overeat
then get back on the diet and so on and so on.*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
So what made me decide to have surgery to help me lose weight?
First of all, I want to start living again and I want to stay alive.
Most of all, I want to be anonymous again.
I don't want to be the one in the crowd that stands out
or the biggest person in my workplace.
I don't want to be the person small children come up me to ask
why are you so big?
Life is so very precious and I want to enjoy it.**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
UPDATE 8/30
Less than a week to go for my surgery.
I am getting more excited every day.
My friends and family have been very supportive
but are concerned at the same time.
Please say a prayer for them to help ease their minds
and to help them through this process.Sept 1
Only a couple of days now!
And yep I am still excited to get this going!
To all my friends and family
please know this is what I wanted to do
and if anything should happen
I had the best life possible thanks to all of you!!Sept 3
The surgery is scheduled for 8:30 tomorrow.Surgery and Forward!
The first day of the rest of my NEW life
Day 1 - 9/4/2002
Doreen of course, is in the hospital now. I'm updating her website for her until she gets home and feels like getting on the computer. For now, I will share the emails that her brother has been so good to send out so we are kept updated on her status. I'm sure when Doreen gets home and settled that she will have many personal thoughts to add to her Journal for all of you to read. I know she appreciates the prayers being said for her today and forward. ~Doreen's friend, Jackie
2:30 pm:
Hello,This is Doreen's brother Randy.Just wanted to drop you a quick note and say that Doreen is out of surgery and doing "ok". She is in "A LOT" of pain but her spirits are very well. She sure had some apprehensive moments about getting it done on the way to the hospital this morning.10:00 pm:
Doreen appears to be in great spirits, before we left the hospital for the night at 830pm she was ready to get up and walk. Doreen has a great attitude which will help her overcome this temporary disability, we are hoping she will be ready to leave the hospital by Monday or possibly Tuesday at the latest (keep your fingers crossed and prayers going).~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Day 2 - 9/5/2002
Hello all,
Doreen seem to be doing better today, she started running a fever of about 101.6. Supposedly this is normal. (HOPEFULLY). Her blood pressure is high also. :(
She slept most of today, had a few visitors and a couple of phone calls.
Please say some prayers that the infections stay away, and that the temperature breaks.
She walked quite a bit today twice :)Her pain seem to be less today as she used her morphine pump only a couple of times today as compared to SEVERAL times yesterday.
Thanks everyone for your support and prayers.
Randy, Joan & Jim*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Day 3 - 9/6/2002
Today's update : ) Well Doreen seems to be doing a lot better. Today she looked her best in the last 2/3 days. Today I asked her if she would have it done again if she had to do it all over and her comments were "H*** YES IN A MINUTE" The pain level is much less today, she has been up and walked several times today. She still has had nothing to eat or drink except for the occasional ice chip. She said that her biggest craving is for a tall glass of water. Hopefully tomorrow (Saturday) her NG tube which is draining the fluids from her stomach will come out and she can drink fluids. Thanks to everyone for their support to her.
Randy, Joan and Jim*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Day 4 - 9/7/2002
Well today Doreen seems to have improved 100% from yesterday. She still has a temperature of 100.6. Today she had the NG tube, the tube that goes down her nose into her stomach to empty any fluids from her stomach taken out and had been able to drink a few sips of fluids. YEAH!The Dr. came in this morning and said that she may possibly be able to go home tomorrow (Sunday) if everything keeps improving like it has. : )Take care everyone and thanks for your support : )Randy, Joan & JimI spoke with Doreen this morning - very briefly. All she wanted to do was get that tube out today so I'm really happy she did! She said she didn't sleep too well last night, but otherwise she was fine! :) ~Jackie
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Day 5 - 9/8/2002
Well Doreen had high hopes that she would be able to go home today, but the
word from the Dr. is NOPE!The Dr. told her that the drainage from the incision is not clear enough for his liking, and that he wants her temperature a little more stable than what
it has been. Maybe tomorrow : )Will let you all know more tomorrow.
Randy*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Day 6 - 9/9/2002
Doreen's hubby writes: .....She is now eating sugar free popsicles and drinking chicken bullion which is a large step forward. She just wants to sleep all the time which is normal after any trauma to the body. She walks around the ward several times a day which has helped her breathing volume to increase from 1000 on her first day after surgery to 2000 on her 4th day. I believe she has probably dropped 20 pounds...yeah!!
JimEmail from Randy at 3:00 pm:
GUESS WHAT!!!!! DOREEN is going home to her house from the hospital today!
YEAH
Randy*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Day 7 - 9/10/2002
........ she`s home!! It`s amazing what a shower will do for a person, thats the first thing Doreen did when she got home, then she read her mail, ate some banana pudding, drank beef bullion, then went to bed around 9:30 pm.
Jim*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Day 8 - 9/11/2002
A note from Jim today.... Doreen is full of vim and vigor... amazing... although , under normal circumstances, she is a very high spirited woman. It`s great to see her back to her old self.
Friday she wants to go into work to see everyone... what a woman.Jim
Note from Jackie: Good for you Doreen! So glad to hear you're getting back on your feet!
~Jackie*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Hey everyone!!!! I am back!!!Yep it is me Doreen
First of all I want to say thanks to God! I put this operation into his hands and I have been blessed.
And now thanks to each and everyone of you for your prayers, thoughts, messages, you have all made this worth it!!
I am doing very well!! I am walking and doing everything I am suppose to and will continue to do so because I will be a LOSER!! Ha! Bet you never thought you would here me say that -- well if I am losing weight ....
Gosh! I wish I could tell you all how touched I am.
Two of my best friends Megan(13yo) and Tyler (10yo) Hooper made me a sign actually several signs but the one that got me through the worst time in the hospital was one that said Always Stay Postive and Keep Praying. Just when I wanted to give up; I looked up and saw that sign! And I said to myself - you know what I can do this. Thanks Ty and Meg!
I want to say a special thanks to my family. Mom I love you! You are the best and I still love you more than anything even though you do use spit to wash my face off.
Randy -- what can I say? You were my strength! Chaz I love you so much and will always do what I can do to make sure that you are happy. You are my most favorite brother and friend.
James I love you babe! You are one of my favorite gifts from God. You always stand by me and are always there for me. Thank you so much for coming into my life and for being my soulmate.
MORE THANKS TO COME (I be tired!!)
Thanks to Anne for coming on the day of the surgery and staying with my family. I love you Anne! You are a very dear friend as is your family.
Thanks to Suzann for coming the day after and staying with my family. How lucky I am to have such dear friends. I am so blessed!! I love you Suzann you are so dear to me.
Cathy - you and I have been friends for so very long! Thanks for the visits even though I manage to sleep through most of them. Thanks too Pete for coming to me. I will come over soon to see the flower bed and retaining wall. (see I remember now hee hhee)
Shannon you poor soul. I have left you with so much work. And you just keep on going with no compliants! You are the best!! And I do mean it. Thanks so much for sticking this out with me!!
Jackie what can I say. You are an angel sent my way. Thanks for helping with my webpage! Love you!! God Bless and take care of you!
Thanks everyone for coming to see me and for sending prayers my way. I will be sending out thanks to the individuals who I didn't thank here. I got so many flowers, cards and visitors that if I thanked everyone I would consume the whole web. I can never express in words how lucky and special you all have made me feel during this time!
Sept 14 10am
Good morning everyone! I am doing so well! I have no pain and no discomfort. And guess what? I can see my ankles. Yep for the first time in years I have no edema in my legs. What a relief.
Yesterday I weigh myself and I have lost 22 pounds; most of this I am sure is the water that was in my legs but I am on my way. I am eating low fat crackers with cheese (love that cheese), protein bars, sugarfree -popsiscles, jello and pudding.
My stomach doesn't like eggs yet. But last night I was able to eat chicken.
Here is a picture of Ali snuggling with me the day I got home from the hospital.
Sept 17, 2002
Hi! everyone It is almost 2 weeks since the surgery; how time flies. I am doing very well. Still have no pain. The hardest part right now is finding things to eat my stomach will tolerate. I get what is called the "dumping syndrome" which is my stomach reacts to what it doesn't like by causing me to becoming very nauseous, hot flashes, severe stomach ache and finally vomiting. Believe it or not I wanted the syndrome (only 30% of the people who have the surgery get it). The "dumping" keeps you from eating foods that are too high in sugar or carbohydrates. Right now though I am eating to fast or too big of bites and that is causing the syndrome to happen but it will get better.
Guess what? I have toes. Hmmm Haven't seen those is so long.
Love to all! You are my inspiration.
Sept 19
Hurray!! One whole day without any nausea or vomiting. I have to eat slowly! and this is extremely hard for someone who used to gulp down her food. The strangest thing about this surgery is I am not craving any foods. I am feeling really good and took a walk. One little minor thing I have an ear infection. So now I am on antibiotics but I would rather nip it now so I don't get an upper respiratory infection.
Does anyone know why I love hummingbirds so much?
Sept 21
First why do I love hummingbirds so much? On the day of my dad's funeral I was sitting outside thinking about my dad and all of a sudden a hummingbird flew into my hair. Neither the hummingbird or myself were hurt but we both we rather startled. Ever since that moment I have a hummingbird close by me in loving memory of my father. Hey Dad .. check it out I am losing weight!! Love and miss ya Dad!!
I went to the doctor for my post surgery check up and he says I am doing great!!! I got the retention sutures out so now all I have is the itchy scar. AND I lost another 9.8 lbs.
What is the significance of next month???
Sept 24
OK! I need to post a pix of myself!! I will do it in the next couple of days I promise. Wow life is so mighty fine. I am feeling well and walking more and more! I went back to work; just for 4 hours a day but it seems good to get back into a routine.
I am to eat different types of food! And am going to try a new sugar substitute. I will let you know how that works out!
Ok I still want you all to think about the significance of next month. Here's a hint: the color pink!!
TTFN (ta ta for now)
Sept 27
HI! all The last couple of days have been my stepping stones. I have been not feeling well but I will get past this and become a thinner me. Right now I am going to focus on just light and smooth foods instead of worrying about how much protien I am getting.
Here is some good news - I have lost another 5.8 pounds yee ha!! I am very close to a grand total of 40 lbs in 3 weeks. Now the weigh will start to come off slower but that is ok.
Here is the new me with my other dog Nut Nut.
Sept 30
Well I had a teensy setback! I have a stricture at the opening between my pouch and small bowel. I can't hold anything but liquids down and then sometimes not even them. SOoooooo I have an Endoscope which will help the doctor dilate the opening. This is an outpatient procedure and will only take about 1/2 hour. For those of you considering this operation please do not let this influence your decision not to have the surgery! This is a small complication and easily remedied. Also, not everyone who had the operation will get strictures. As my dear friends tell me ALWAYS THINK POSITIVE.
Love and Hugs Doreen
Click here to find out what is special about the month of October!
10/15/02
Oh boy! Still having problems! But I go for my scope tomorrow and I hope this is the last time!! I can't wait to drink some ice water! The picture below was taken at my mom's house isn't it a perfect gift from God? We all have to remember know matter what we are going through God is with us and we don't have to look far for the the proof.
10/16/02
I just have to share this with you all -- last night I was so depressed so I posted the following message on a Internet Board where I have met a lot of new friends.
Sigh! Please pray for me again HI! Everyone
If you all could I need to have a prayer said for me that I trust in the Lord and let him take over my worries. I had another scope to unblock the opening in my new small stomach and the Doctor said he won't do another one. If my opening blocks again I will need to go back for surgery. And yes it will be a major surgery!
I am so upset with myself because I know I need to give this to God and let him guide me but I am so blasted scared I can't quit worrying about this. I know in my heart that I can handle what HE gives me but emotionally I am not ready for another surgery!
So please pray that I will find the wisdom to let go of this and let God handle it for me.
Thanks so much
Love and Kisses Doreen
Well after I posted it I got this message in my email at work.
Psalms 55:22 "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee: He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."
My instructions were to pick four people that I wanted God to bless and I picked you. Please pass this to four people you want to be blessed and a copy back to me. This prayer is powerful and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards, let's continue to pray for one another. Here is the prayer:
"Father, I ask You to bless my children, grand-children, friends, relatives and email buddies reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, release a new confidence through Your grace, In Jesus' precious name. Amen."
Isn't is fantastic how God works?I know am so happy to tell you that tonight I kept my food down for the first time in 2wks!! I am so thrilled! One giant step in the right direction!!
Love to all and thanks so much for your prayers!!
10/23/02
HI! again I am doing much better. Although I am still vomiting I am not as depressed! I am able to keep down liquids and very soft food so that is what I will eat for awhile. Today is my 3rd Wedding anniversary to my wonderful husband James! I will post a pix of him later. In the near future I will be adding stuff to my homepage so please continue to check it out.
Take care everyone You are special
God's Positives
You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)
You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I FORGIVE YOU (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)
You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)
You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)
You say: "I don't have enough faith"
God says: I've given everyone a measure of faith (Romans 12:3)
You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)
10/29/02
I wish I had some good new for you all but I am still not feeling well! Now I have to take potassium and that stuff is wicked. As I can't take pills I have to take the liquid stuff and can I say ICK!! Oh well!! Positive thoughts positive thoughts!! Hey I know -- I lost another 5.8 pounds. Drum roll please that brings me to a total of 63 pounds !!
Take care of you!! Love and Hugs Doreen
10/30/02
Need prayers please Going for my 3rd scope!! I am very depressed!
10/31/02
I am happy to report that I have found a doctor here at MMC to help me. To those who don't know me - MMC is where I work. Munson Medical Center. He is going to try to get a surgeon in Grand Rapids to see me! HURRAY!! I have cancelled the scope and although I am still not eating I would rather wait for this doctor then see my own surgeon. Also I will continue to try to find a GI doctor to do the scopes in the meantime! Can you tell I am not as depressed.
Without your prayers and well wishes these good things would not be happening for me!! Thanks to each and everyone of you! I love you all!!!
11-01-02
I now have a GI Doctor at MMC who will do my scopes from now on!! Things are really looking up for me! By the way did you see the new picture I posted on the Homepage? Check out the Doreen post op 6 wks. I AM MELTING!!
11-6-02
Tomorrow I will go for an Upper GI then I will need another scope! Yeppers I am back to vomiting again. But great news I will start seeing a new surgeon on the 26!! Yes!!
Today...I wish you a day of ordinary miracles --
A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself.
An unexpected phone call from an old friend.
Green traffic lights on your way to work or shop.
I wish you a day of little things to rejoice in...
The fastest line at the grocery store.
A good sing along song on the radio.
Your keys right where you look.
I wish you a day of happiness and perfection --
little bite-size pieces of perfection
that give you the funny feeling that the Lord
is smiling on you,
holding you so gently because you are someone
special and rare.
I wish You a day of Peace, Happiness and Joy(thanks Charlene)
NOV 9
Well I am scheduled for my 4th scope!! I will have it on Tuesday at 6:30am. My doctor wanted to do it on Friday but I just wanted a weekend without IVs and being worn out from the sedation. Have I explained what a scope is? A scope is short for endoscope or endoscopy. It is a procedure where the take a tube and put in down your throat and then further down your esophagus (swallowing tube) and then into your stomach. In my case the doctor inserts a balloon through the end of the scope and stretches the new opening in my small stomach. He does this so that the opening will get big enough for chewed food to go through and then on through the GI tract. When I go in for the scope the opening is about this size
l after the scope it is about this size l Big difference eh? The exact size is 15mm. I don't want to post anything that may hurt me in the future but lets just say my original surgeon has some splaining to do!!
November 13, 2002
Well the 4th scope didn't work. I will have my 5th scope on this Friday! I am trying very hard to keep a good attitude about all of this as I am so lucky to have the support system. Thanks to all of you! love and hugs Doreen
ohhh and I am down 71 pounds!
November 15 (2 hours to go for scope)
Well strike the previous weight loss I am down 80 pounds. I have lost 9 pounds this week due to not being able to eat. Hmmmm before I couldn't stop eating now I can't eat how strange life is, isn't it?
November 19 3pm
I will have by next scope in about an hour. This has not been an easy road for me and I ask God all the time for strength to get through all the obstacles. Someone explained to me that Satan is trying very hard to take my faith away but I will hold on as I have been given so much by God. I put the butterfly here cause of the poem if you love something set it free if it comes back it is yours if it doesn't it never was. Well that is what I think about my love for God I have set it free several times when I was so depressed but He continues to remind me of how much He loves me and how blessed I am. Go ahead and click on the butterfly and set it free. Love ya all
November 24
Lots has happened in the past count of days. The last scope didn't work. My GI doc is very concerned about my weight loss, lack of energy and my blood work so he has decided to feed my through an IV. The Radiologists in the department I work in put in a PICC line which is an IV line that stays in for about 8 weeks. Every day for 12 hours I am hooked up to a small IV pump which I can carry in a backpack. That IV pump feeds me all the nutrients, vitamins and fats I need. I will stay on this pump until I have the surgery again. On Monday, Nov 25, I go see a surgeon in Grand Rapids. I hope that he will do the surgery. Take care for now! Please email me and let me know how you all are doing!! Doreen
Nov 25 4am
In a few hours I will meet my new surgeon. (I am thinking positively) Just a quick note to say HI! to all. I am feeling much better physically now that I am getting the nutrients I needed so badly. Wow! you don't know how bad you feel until you start feeling better. Please add a dear friend of mine to your prayers. Her name is Patti and she had the surgery a month after I did. She too is having complications. I am praying for you Patti and so will all my friends.
Hugs Doreen!
November 27
Happy Thanksgiving! May you all have a wonderful holiday. Lets all remember that we have each other when we think of things we are thankful for during our prayers to God.
UPDATE ON ME
Aren't you tired of reading about me? Well someday it is only going to be good stuff! And that is going to be someday soon. I have faith!!
I met with my NEW surgeon on Monday - yep he adopted me! Hurray!! I really like him! So here is the plan - I am going to have the IV in my arm removed and then a tube placed into my stomach (not the pouch). I will use this tube to feed myself; I can even put my pills into this tube. Then in the next couple of weeks I will go back down to Grand Rapids and my new surgeon (Dr. Foote) will do another endoscope. During the scope he will inject steroids into my opening and hopefully this will stop it from closing down. If that doesn't work I will continue to use the tube in my stomach to feed myself for a couple more months and then have the surgery again.
I gained 4 pounds this week due to the fact that I was taking TPN. It has a lot of fats and sugars in it and I think my body said HEY I am not going to let this stuff go cause you haven't been giving me anything!!! I will lose it as soon as I stop the TPN and start feeding myself through the G tube.
This sure wasn't what I signed up for when I decided to have the surgery but just like Job I will not let Satan claim me.
NOVEMBER 28
Well here is the latest -- I have to continue with the PICC line for at least another week just to make sure that the "G" tube works properly. But my GI doc is still concerned about my Potassium levels so I will be getting more through the IV and then I will push Gatorade through the "G" tube. (thank God cause I hate the taste of it) I still haven't heard from my surgeon on when he will do the scope so I will call him sometime tomorrow. I hope everyone's Thanksgiving was blessed with lots of food, friends and happy moments.
Dec 4th
Hi! Please say a prayer that the scope I am having tomorrow will finally help me!! I go to Grand Rapids for a scope with my new surgeon. OH please let this work!! I am now on antibiotics because the incision around the G-tube is infected. Not a biggie but my goal was to be off from all medications and it seems like I keep getting more and more.
Please remember the true purpose of the Christmas season; it isn't how many gifts we receive; it is how much we can give of ourselves to God and others. The best gift to each other is the gift of love.
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